Hair Salon Confessions


(photo by Darla Hueske)

Snippets of conversation overheard at the hair salon on Saturday.  Yes, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop despite the driving music piping through the speakers. I’m reading the New York Times and checking Facebook on my iPhone. Chlling.

In the hair coloring / highlighting area:

Client 1, sitting to my left, is in her 40s-50s, with a long face and long blonde hair. Her exhaustion is palpable, tired eyes, speech listless. Her hair stylist (Stylist 1) is a 20-something brunette, perky and well-made up.

Client 1:  I pulled my back out this morning putting the baby in the crib. Ooooh.

Stylist 1:  I’m sorry to hear that.

Client 1:  The kids keep coughing. My daughter says it’s a respiratory infection.  Coughing, coughing.  Never ends.

* * *

Client 2 enters the coloring area with her stylist (Stylist 2). Client 2 is a petite blond, and Stylist 2 is a taller redhead with her hair piled playfully on top of her head. Client 2 is sitting behind me. They are both loud talkers.

Stylist 2: Would you like a cup of coffee or something?

Client 2: Hell yeah, after last night.  I was sooo drunk!

They both laugh loudly.

Stylist 2 (handing client a coffee): Are you dating?

Client 2: Actually, yeah, an Irish guy.

Stylist: Yeah?

* * *

Client 1:  So my daughter takes the kids to an infectious disease doctor. He doesn’t know what it is. Now they have to run more tests.

(I make brief eye contact with Client 1. She looks right through me.)

Stylist 1:  Oh, that doesn’t sound good.

* * *

Client 2:  I’m not heavy into Irish men, but if you’ve got an accent, forget it. Even if you’re not that good-looking. Like this guy is a 6, but he automatically bumps at least 2 notches.

Stylist 2: Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you hear about Kanye?

* * *

Client 1: So how did they get a respiratory infection is what I says. From the water? It doesn’t make sense.

Stylist 1:  Wow, that is weird.

Client 1:  I’m going home after this and turning off the phone.

* * *

Stylist 2: Well, Kanye thanked his late mom and his late father-in-law for helping him on his latest album. Isn’t that the coolest?

Client 2:  That’s awesome. Even though those two split? How decent of him.

Stylist 2: So when are you going to see the hottie Irishman again?

* * *

My stylist brought me to the sinks for a shampoo. That was all I got for the day.