Unidentified Bright Objects

UBOsjpg

(photo – dizziness-and-balance.com)

UBOs or unidentified bright objects
the neurologist said
It’s a joke
bright spots on the MRI
very common
he said

After waiting three weeks
for the results
I had time to contemplate
what it might be
trying hard not to over-think or over-google

Changes in the brain’s white matter can be indicators of small vessel ischemia or MS
or early onset Alzheimer’s.

I had three weeks to contemplate
what my life might be with a brain “condition.”
Would I be able to keep writing?
Would I end up in a wheelchair?
Would I be able to travel?

Before the dizziness and migraines began,
I had dreams of being unable to walk,
Leaden legs
stuck in quicksand
dangerous people chasing me
I couldn’t get away

I know a lot of it has to do with my mother,
who has Alzheimer’s, and is wheelchair-bound
for going on 5 years
Would that be my fate?
Would I end up in a nursing home like her?

I never wanted to be like her
but I felt I was getting closer to
being just that

We could babble to each other
incoherently,
stare straight ahead
like in Being There,
think Trump is funny
and not a threat

I don’t want to be a burden to my husband
he knows I don’t want to live like that

Unidentified bright objects

Not a brain disease
probably nothing
the doctor says
but he sent me for a blood test
to rule things out–
Lyme disease, auto-immune disease,
heart condition

Unidentified bright objects

I guess I have
a second chance