Where in the World is Chris Christie?

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Remember when Chris Christie was standing behind Trump like Big Pussy on The Sopranos? And then he was boarding planes with him to campaign sites. Where has our absentee governor gone? There are vacation rumors, rumors that he’s left Trump’s campaign.

I live in New Jersey and haven’t seen him. Have you? Is he closing unknown bridges on faraway shores?

Not that he’s doing much for the Garden State anyway.

Perhaps he was upset by Trump’s mocking him at a rally in Columbus, Ohio. Trump mentioned how Governor Kasich was shirking his gubernatorial duties in Ohio, then went on to Christie:

“And your governor is absentee,” Trump told the crowd. “He goes to New Hampshire, he’s living in New Hampshire. Living! Where’s Chris, is Chris around? Even more than Chris Christie, he was there, right? Even more.”

Let me know if you see him.

 

 

Let’s Get Ready to Rumble – Sixth Republican Debate!

Can you believe the SIXTH Republican debate will be airing this evening? It was not well-publicized (not sure why), but I’m eager to watch nonetheless. I have not been able to watch an entire debate yet, but I watch as much as I can stomach.

It is less a debate and more a beauty contest / World Wrestling Federation match / penis (vagina for Carly Fiorina) measuring contest.

I would really like to see them come out in swim suits (or not) and evening attire and present their talent as they do in the Miss America Pageant. Let’s shake things up a bit!

“Hi, I’m Chris Christie, and my talent is impersonating Bruce Springsteen. I know the Boss and I had a falling out recently over Bridgegate–which wasn’t my fault, as you all know– but I’m hoping after he sees me perform this kick-ass version of ‘Baby, We Were Born to Run,’ we’ll be friends again.  This is for you, Boss!”

And on and on it would go. That would be a lot more fun than watching them posture and monger more fear and tell us how they will make us safe from the terrorists.

CBS has an article online entitled “How to Watch Tonight’s Republican Debate.” I’d suggest keeping a vomit bag, a bottle of aspirin, antacids or a bottle of bourbon–pick your poison–close at hand.

More on this tomorrow.