(google)
Plunging deeper into the rabbit hole
can’t get out
can’t breathe
Nobody sees what I do
I don’t belong anywhere
I don’t want your pity
Re-living the death
Yet
Trying to live
Why
Trying to dig myself
out of the swampy dirt
hole
falling
clawing
trying to find
love
meaning
warm flesh
wherever I can
Can anyone help me
get out
Suburban Hobo 
Wow Erica………so raw and real.
Love you my friend!
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Love you too. Feel lost so much of the time.
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Writing is the only thing that works for me, Erica, when I feel trapped in a descent. Nothing like what you’re feeling, I know, but leaning on your talent might buy you the time you need to heal. My warmest wishes are yours, too.
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Thanks, Matt. I have hardly been able to write at all the past 4 months. I want to get back to it.
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Powerful and moving Erica. I’m so sorry life is so tough for you. You have been to hell and need help to get back.
Have you support around you? – a grief and trauma counselor perhaps?
Sending light and love your way. 💛
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Thanks, Val. I am getting some help.
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Think about you often and carry you in my heart and prayers…there are no words, no explanations, no witty bits of advice …..you are held……<3
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Thank you, Lucie.
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❤
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Erica, wow. Your writing is amazing. I can’t pretend to understand what you are going through but I am here for you in my own small way. A drink. A cat story. A friend.
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Thank you. xox
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Glad to hear you are getting help, Erika, wish we knew the right words to say. If you write, you’ll find a lot of support here…this is a caring community. 💘
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There’s only one thing I know and that is your still here for a reason. I don’t know what that is and you probably don’t know yet. But you will find it. And right now all you can do is open yourself to this vast world of possibilities. For one day you will look back on your life and it will read like a book and everything will connect like a puzzel.
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Hi Erica,
I’m sorry, but not so surprised, that there are still dark times. I’m hoping that there are more serene moments interspersed with the bad memories and feelings. I’ve heard that at about the six month mark after a bereavement, the adrenalin rush that got you through the worst of it wears off, so it may feel even rougher than the early days of shock. Have faith that this too shall pass. Not be forgotten, but hurt less with time. I’m glad you’re staying in touch with people who care for you. Know that there are many of us.
Hugs,
(Aunt) Lynn
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Thanks, Lynn. It’s the 4 1/2 month mark, and I think much of the adrenaline has already worn off. Feeling considerably better today. xo
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