They put me on a diet
that I don’t like one bit
Mom and Pop want me to slim down
they want me to be fit
Karl lets me eat his food
if they put us together
since they started to feed us separately
I’ve been in quite a lather!
I meow at the top of the stairs
to let Mom know I need food
She ignores my pleas, I rub her legs
how can she be so cruel?
She walks to the human litter box room
why don’t they use ours?
I lunge and nip her ankle
as she goes to take a shower
She turns to look, I run away
She says, “What was that?”
Why, silly, it’s predator vs. prey
A game well-known to cats
Of course, I’d never eat her
She’s much too big for me
but if she thinks I can
I might get more of those treats
Suburban Hobo 
Better watch out, Bernie, or you might bite off more than you can chew.
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He’s a cannibal cat!
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After reading the delightful ongoing saga of Bernie, was struck with the idea
of what a wonderful children’s book it would make.
Great thematic points to be made on; change, fear of the ‘other’, acceptance , etc, etc,
featuring Bernie, Karl, other cats and their human care givers …. I can see the illustrations now.
Get on it Erica!
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Thanks, TC. I was thinking the same thing myself. I need an illustrator-can’t draw at all.
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Write it first. The illustrator will come.
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I have a secret love for Bernie even though I’ve never met him lol. I agree with the PP, write the children’s book! It has a lot of good morals and lessons to it. I’d buy it for my nieces/nephews/future unborn babies lol
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Thank you for the support!
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Such a sweet poem. I’m enjoying watching Bernie’s story unfold. I agree about the children’s book!
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🙂
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Poor Bernie. Everyone hates diets. How’s he doing with it?
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He’s still overweight. It’s going to take some time.
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Just like the rest of us. 😦
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Yup.
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