The World According to Mom

mom in garden

On Saturday, Mom and I were watching CNN’s coverage of the Trump rally in Tucson, Arizona and the gathering swell of protesters.

On Trump.

Mom:  I like him. He’s funny.

Me:  A lot of people don’t like him.

Mom: Why not?

Me: Because he wants to get rid of all the Muslims and immigrants, for one thing.

Mom:  Oh, I didn’t know that.

After watching CNN for awhile, she said,  “I still like him. He makes me laugh.”

On Hillary Clinton.

Me: What do you think about Hillary?

Mom (grimacing): Not much.

On her clothes closet.

Mom: There’s so many things in there that don’t belong to me. I don’t know where they came from.

Me: That’s why I brought you some new clothes. Last time I saw you you said the stuff you have is drab.

Mom: You didn’t have to waste money on that. What about my clothes at home? I won’t be here forever.

On cookies:

I bring her a box of Choco Leibniz every week or two; she calls them “chocolate grahams.”


(google image)

Mom: Oh no, I don’t need any more cookies. I’m getting fat.

Me: What about these lemon cookies I got? They’re very light.

Mom: Those are okay.

I open the box, and she eats a few demurely with her coffee.

Mom: But no more chocolate!

Me: Okay.

On Raymond (another resident).

Mom and I take a spin around the floor. She likes to keep moving.

Mom: He’s always walking up and down with that other one (new female resident). It bothers me.

Me: Why?

Mom: I don’t know. It just does.

Me: He likes to keep moving, just like you.

Mom: I guess so.

On cinema:

Mom:  (very animated) I’ve been waiting to see “Liss for Life”.

Me: What’s that?

Mom: You know. They say it’s coming on, but I keep missing it.

Me: Who’s in it?

Mom: Van Gogh, you know. (more emphatically) Liss for Life.

Me: Oh, “Lust for Life.”

Mom: Yes!

Me: Remember who plays van Gogh?

Mom: Schmikkel Ledberzz.

Sometimes Mom speaks gibberish–it comes with the Alzheimer’s.

Me: Kirk Douglas?

Mom: Yes, that’s what I said. (super animated now)


(google image)

On hair stylists.

Mom: She’s never around to color my hair.

Me: I need to pick up your color at ShopRite.

Mom: They don’t have it here?

Me: No. That’s why they can’t color it now.

Mom: Well, it has to get done right away.

Me: I’ll bring the color next weekend, and then she’ll do it.

Mom: I hope so.

On stuffed animals.

I got her a small stuffed animal bunny for Easter.

Me: Do you have a name for the bunny?

Mom: No. He doesn’t need a name.


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