Helplessly Hoping

January

photo by Hartwig HKD

January sneaks in,
a rogue shadow
cold, then warm,
some snow, some rain,
no rest for my mind
it doesn’t know where to go
I am incapable of helping
those close to me who suffer,
cannot stop their pain
Helplessness:
a caretaker’s foe
no off switch
want to fly away
and become the un-caretaker
Narcissist
for a day

5 thoughts on “Helplessly Hoping

  1. It is extremely hard being the caretaker. All the unsung labor…I’ve been on both sides of the bed in my own way and can say I think it’s actually harder caretaking than being the one needing it. Of course depends on the illness.

    Like

  2. Erica this is beautiful and heartbreaking. Are you getting some respite care?? Are you taking care of yourself – getting therapy (if you want to talk to someone and vent your pain)?

    I know your pain – although it’s been a long time I was caring for my mom – badly – and it is so debilitating, even as you love the person for I think the reason you state here: the helplessness… as only caregivers know.

    Please take care!!!

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

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