Wells Fargo & Me: A Love Story

(I am using pseudonyms for the WF staff.)

I ♡  Wells Fargo. If you read my post of November 16, “Have a Magical Day : Wells Fargo ♡  You,”  you will see I have changed my tune. Yes, they have finally won me over. Sigh.

When I entered my local Wells Fargo (“WF”) this afternoon, I was greeted by Theo, who said, “Is there anything I can get you before you approach the teller?”

“No, thanks,” I said. Do I need a sedative before I “approach” the teller? Maybe she/he is in a bad mood or worse, a homicidal maniac.

“Well, if you change your mind, I’m right here,” he said.

I heard him say goodbye to “Joe.” So he’s on a first-name basis with the customers, how cool! I wonder if he offered Joe a bottle of water and a Dum Dums lollipop before he went on his way.

A second greeter whose name I didn’t catch, also late 20s, early 30s, bald and wearing a skinny suit, stood at the front of the line to further enhance our banking experience.

“The lovely Joni will assist you today,” he said, directing the first customer on line toward Joni’s window.

Is this the 1950s and are the tellers actually stewardesses? I’m confused. Is Joni serving ‘coffee, tea or me’ today?

The front-of-the-line greeter, let’s call him Tony, said to me, “And the lovely Brianna will assist you today.”

“Thank you,” I said.

Lovely Brianna had trouble locating my mortgage on the system, just like last time. I asked if there was something wrong.

“This happened last time too. Are you foreclosing on my house?” I said, trying to be funny.

Brianna motioned for Tony, who charged to the rescue.

Tony explained, “We’ve done some upgrades to the system, and sometimes it doesn’t recognize the accounts, but we do. It’s a glitch, we’re trying to get it resolved.”

“Okay,” I said.

“We do appreciate your patience. May we get you a some coffee or tea, how about a cheeseburger from the Shake Shack around the corner?” Tony said.

“No, that’s okay,” I said, laughing.

“Their cheeseburgers are supposed to be out of this world, but I haven’t been there yet.”

“It’s okay.”

Meanwhile, Chrysanthia, the teller to the right of Brianna, said to her disheveled, grumpy customer, “Have a magical day!”

He grunted something and shuffled on his way.

More minutes passed but I maintained my composure and good mood, grabbing one of the mini water bottles and a Dum Dums pop from the shelf outside Brianna’s window. I chugged down the water, fast. Dry in there.

“Well, Erica, we have two receipts for you today, and because you’ve been such a superstar with your understanding, you get two stars today!”

“Thank you,” I said, giggling.

“Have a great day!” Tony said.

“You too.”

Here is my reward for being a “superstar”:

star stickers

I’m a superstar! I ♡ Wells Fargo, and they ♡ me!

4 thoughts on “Wells Fargo & Me: A Love Story

  1. This is so funny, Erica, I thought you had written a satire. I can’t believe any bank is this crazy. We have Wells Fargos here, but I’ve never been in one. Thanks for the warning!

    Liked by 1 person

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